Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Pilotul unui avion catre turnul de control:
- Ma aflu la 700 km de pamant, la 1300 de m deasupra apei si mi se termina combustibilul. Astept instructiuni.
Turnul de control catre pilot:
- Repeta dupa noi: "Tatal nostru carele esti in ceruri...."
Let's be friends.
I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.
> > >> > When the end of the world arrives, how will the World's media
report
> > it?
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> > 1. The New York Times:--- WE'RE DEAD
> > >> >
> > >> > 2. The Wall Street Journal :--- DOW JONES INDEX PLUMMETS to ZERO
AS
> > >> > WORLD ENDS - NASDAQ CLOSES SHOP , AND NIKKEI FOLLO...
Vin Diesel was the culprit who ate Gilbert Grape. He would later describe the experience as ``Similar in texture to panda meat , but not without its charms.``
Vin Diesel is currently working an internship with the Frank Gehry architecture partnership, he intends to play a key role in the design of the new King Alfred Swimming Pool complex in Brighton, England. On the opening night of the project he will secret
Once Vin Diesel had an epiphany and it resulted with the manifestation of all 57 varieties of Heinz (including the green and purple ketchup).
Vin Diesel once invented a plane with no wings. He put wheels underneath it and called it a train.
Vin Diesel hates manatees. He plans to finish them off, as he did with sabre-tooth tigers and wooly mammoths.
Vin Diesel made a sextape with Paris Hilton on her Sidekick. He later hacked into it, deleted the sextape, and distributed the rest of her information online.
Vin Diesel can communicate with dolphins.
The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris.
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
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