Chuck Norris doesn`t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Guns don`t kill people, Chuck Norris does.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, ``Please don`t kill me.`` Too bad Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in magic.
When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn`t heal.
Chuck Norris doesn`t play ``hide-and-seek.`` He plays ``hide-and-pray-I-don`t-find-you.``
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was making the world think he doesn`t exist.
Windows 98 is not a virus!
A virus does something!
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn`t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris doesn`t use pickup lines, he simply says, ``Now.``
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris doesn`t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not ``attempt`` murder. 74 6.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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