Chuck Norris doesn`t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Windows 98 is not a virus!
A virus does something!
The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was making the world think he doesn`t exist.
Guns don`t kill people, Chuck Norris does.
When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn`t heal.
Chuck Norris doesn`t play ``hide-and-seek.`` He plays ``hide-and-pray-I-don`t-find-you.``
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, ``Please don`t kill me.`` Too bad Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in magic.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not ``attempt`` murder. 74 6.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris doesn`t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn`t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris doesn`t use pickup lines, he simply says, ``Now.``
Chuck Norris doesn`t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
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