Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced that it would be possible to fight two wars at once. Incidentally, Vin Diesel announced that he could fight two whores at once.
We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.
Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression ``Shitting bricks`` wasn`t just a figure of speech.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren`t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not ``attempt`` murder. 74 6.
Chuck Norris once finished ``The Song that Never Ends``.
A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can`t find bigger, better nuts than that.
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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