In Soviet Russia, Vin Diesel is you.

Vin Diesel can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.

The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was making the world think he doesn`t exist.

Everytime Vin Diesel masturbates God kills a Siberian Tiger.

Vin Diesel owns a logging company. His only other employee being a blue ox.

Vin Diesel lives his life in ``bullet-time``.

Vin Diesel sheds his skin every 40 or so days as a defense mechanism.

Vin Diesel created the idea for the game of soccer when he would fly a

Vin Diesel already created a cure for AIDS; if only he could read and write.

When The Transporter needs something transported, he calls Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel always forgets to put the new cover sheets on his TPS reports.

Vin Diesel killed and devoured Mufasa from The Lion King, but let the hyenas live becasue they were quote ``dirty creatures``.

Vin Diesel made a sextape with Paris Hilton on her Sidekick. He later hacked into it, deleted the sextape, and distributed the rest of her information online.

Vin Diesel`s toast lands butter side up.