Chuck Norris doesn`t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

The only reason Chuck Norris didn`t win an Oscar for his performance in ``Sidekicks`` is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That`s just suicide.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can`t lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

La o expozitie de calculatoare (COMDEX), Bill Gates a comparat in mod repetat industria de software cu industria de automobile.
Printre altele a facut si afirmatia urmatoare:
-"Daca General Motors ar fi tinut pasul cu tehnologia, la fel cum se intampla in industria de software, astazi am fi con...

Culmea justitiei: sa condamni o curva la locul de munca.

Justin ii cumpara lui Britney un inel cu rubin. Ea zice:
-Vai,iubitule, nu trebuia!
A doua zi Justin ii cumpara un Viper rosu, decapotabil. Ea zice:
-Vai,iubitule, nu trebuia!
A treia zi ii cumpara un prezervativ. Ea exclama:
-In sfarsit...