The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn`t kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.