Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris` sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris` leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
I'm concentrating on my career.
Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.
We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
Vin Diesel once challenged James Polk to a race around the world.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren`t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Once Vin Diesel had an epiphany and it resulted with the manifestation of all 57 varieties of Heinz (including the green and purple ketchup).
Vin Diesel once invented a plane with no wings. He put wheels underneath it and called it a train.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced that it would be possible to fight two wars at once. Incidentally, Vin Diesel announced that he could fight two whores at once.
Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression ``Shitting bricks`` wasn`t just a figure of speech.
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